They say that the best way to control your anger is to vent it out every now and then, but the thing is, while this may work for some people, it’s not a universal solution. In some cases, it can make things worse! The problem is that it can condition you to need this sort of release when a lot of stress has built up inside of you, and when you’re unable to get that release in any way (for example, because you’re on a business trip), things can get really bad for you.
What you actually need to do is learn how to control your anger at its roots. Prevent it from developing in the first place, an d you won’t have so many issues trying to control it afterwards. And while this sounds straightforward enough, it’s not that simple to actually put it in action if you don’t know what you’re doing. You have to know how your mind works and how to affect it in a way that will actually register; otherwise you’re just wasting effort.
If you feel like you’re losing control and want to get the upper hand over your anger issues, you need to get professional help, and you should do this as soon as possible. The earlier you start your treatment, the better effects you’ll see from it in the long term. And don’t make the mistake of thinking that you’re above professional help and can handle the situation on your own – this is the exact kind of thinking that leads many people on a downward spiral of self-destruction. You have to realize that some aspects of your mind are beyond your control and you need actual help to deal with those issues; and you have to actually believe it, too.
Anger management therapists exist for a reason, and there are actually many experienced professionals in this field who can help you out to a great extent if you reach out to them. Of course, none of those experts can force you to submit to treatment, so this decision will have to come from you, but once you’ve decided to treat your issues professionally, it’s only a matter of following through with every step of your treatment until it’s finished.
This is another important point to make. At some stage during your treatment, you may feel like you’re finally over your problems and you can stop going to your sessions. That’s the thing though, those therapy sessions are designed very meticulously to be a complete treatment, and it’s expected that you’ll feel better at some point during your treatment, before it’s over. Don’t take this as an indication that you should just stop going though, because those last few sessions are actually the most critical ones. They will solidify the new way of thinking that has been given to you, and will allow you to put everything you’ve learned to action, so that you never have to deal with anger issues in your life again, and have a happier, more productive existence.
Leora Carry
